America has been changed forever by the coronavirus pandemic. We have a lot more loudmouths in our society than we did before the pandemic. Whether they were always here and just kept quiet before, or if the pandemic somehow gave them false courage to become loudmouths, this is definitely something new.

Social media was flooded in the early days of the pandemic by videos of lunatics yelling at people in the grocery store, for the social crime of not wearing their Face Thong of Obedience like good little serfs. Loudmouths should know better. Pride cometh before the fall and all that. Perhaps professional bodybuilder Doug Brignole should have thought of that.

Brignole, according to his website, is a competitive bodybuilder. He won the Mr. America contest in 1982 and the Mr. Universe contest in 1986. He’s a fitness expert, a motivational speaker and author. He also got very, very upset at all of you skeptical jerks who thought that the vaccine was killing people. You were following those misinformation specialists, and it made him so mad that he decided to offer up his life FOR SCIENCE to prove you wrong.

Here’s what Brignole tweeted as he offered to lay down his life FOR SCIENCE:

“I have enough confidence in the vaccine, based on my research, to get it done. Those of you who think the vaccine kills people can use me as a test. If I die, you were right. If I don’t die, and have no ill effects, you were wrong, and should admit it (at least to yourselves). Better yet, you should admit that you were misled, and tell the world who misled you, so other people can benefit by avoiding those fearmongers.”

What a loudmouth! And so arrogant. You can almost hear him yelling at an asthmatic child at the grocery store for not wearing a mask. “How dare you endanger me, you little brat! I’m important!”

Oh, well. Time to do some science. Since Doug Brignole laid his life on the line FOR SCIENCE, I guess it’s time to admit that I was misled. I was duped! How could I have been so stupid?!

The other condition that Brignole had is that I now need to ‘fess up and admit who misled me, so other people can benefit by avoiding those fearmongers. Here we go. Here are just a few of the fearmongers who have misled me in recent history.

The Surgeon General of Florida told me that the shots are dangerous for people under 40, especially men. The government of Scotland told me this month that neonatal deaths have more than doubled since 2021. Researchers in Germany at the Institute of Pathology told me this month that autopsies show that spike proteins from the Pfizer vaccine kill both brain cells and heart cells in some recipients.

Scientists in Toronto, Canada told me last month that vaccinated people are now 6.5 times more likely to end up in the ICU than unvaccinated people. A study published in Circulation, a journal of the American Heart Association, misled me by stating that at least 345 deaths from myocarditis in the UK in 2021 were directly caused by the COVID shots. Another study published by in the misinformation magazine Circulation tricked me into believing that there has been a 24X increase in professional and college athlete deaths since the COVID shots were introduced worldwide. Doctors in Japan fooled me into thinking that the mRNA technology in the experimental shots – which I am now forced by Doug Brignole’s courage to admit is totally safe – was causing patients to break out in horrible chickenpox and shingles.

In August, I was misled by radio host and Fox News contributor Dan Bongino, who now says that taking the vaccine was the greatest regret of his life because of the harm it did to him. Dan was obviously lying. Singapore, Germany, Switzerland, the UK and Canada all misled me by telling me their birth rates had plummeted between 15 and 25% since the vaccine rollout. And life insurance companies OneAmerica and Lincoln National misled me by telling me they’ve had billion-dollar increases in the number of payouts because so many people have started dying since the vaccines started.

Those are just a few of the misinformation spreaders who tricked me into thinking the shots are dangerous. I’m so ashamed! Not to mention…

Oh, wait. Never mind.

RIP Doug Brignole
(Born Dec. 15, 1959, died Oct. 13, 2022)