Former FBI Director James Comey — the man who spent years as Washington's most self-righteous hall monitor — is now staring down a July 15 criminal trial date over an alleged threat against President Trump. Mark your calendars, folks. The man who once decided who got investigated and who got a pass is about to sit in the defendant's chair.
How the mighty have fallen. And by "fallen," we mean crashed through every floor on the way down.
According to Patriot News Alerts, a North Carolina grand jury indicted Comey on two criminal charges related to a deleted Instagram post from May 2025. The post featured seashells arranged to spell out "86 47" — and if you're not fluent in dirtbag slang, "86" means to eliminate or get rid of someone. "47" is, of course, the 47th President of the United States, Donald Trump.
Comey's explanation at the time was a masterclass in playing dumb. "I posted earlier a picture of some shells I saw today on a beach walk, which I assumed were a political message," he said. "I didn't realize some folks associate those numbers with violence. It never occurred to me but I oppose violence of any kind so I took the post down."
Right. The former Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation — the man who ran the most sophisticated law enforcement agency on the planet — had no idea that "86" means "get rid of." The guy who oversaw counterintelligence operations against foreign governments was stumped by bar slang. Sure, Jim.
U.S. District Judge Louise Flanagan, a George W. Bush appointee who serves in New Bern, North Carolina, is running this case on a compressed fast-track timeline of less than ten weeks. Pretrial motions are due by June 5. Comey's rescheduled arraignment is set for June 30. And the trial itself drops on July 15. That's not a leisurely stroll through the legal system — that's a sprint.
The judge has also made it clear she'll only cancel a North Carolina hearing if Comey files a waiver by Friday. No waiver, no cancellation. The procedural screws are tightening and Comey's legal team doesn't get to set the pace.
Let's remember who we're talking about here. This is the man who was fired as FBI Director in 2017. The man who leaked classified memos to a friend to trigger a special counsel investigation. The man who held a press conference to lay out a devastating case against Hillary Clinton's email practices and then said "no reasonable prosecutor" would bring charges. The man who turned the FBI into a political weapon and then wrote a book about how noble he was for doing it.
And now he's got a trial date.
Previous charges against Comey were dismissed at some point, which probably gave his legal team a false sense of security. But this indictment from a North Carolina grand jury is a whole new ballgame, and the fast-track schedule suggests the court isn't interested in letting this drag out.
July 15. Write it down. The man who spent his career deciding other people's fates is about to have his own decided for him. We'll be watching every minute of it.
