Five o'clock Thursday morning. A control tower in South Florida crackles to life.

"Attention all aircraft, effective immediately, Palm Beach International Airport is now Donald J. Trump International Airport."

And somewhere in a Boca Raton kitchen, a retiree in a "Resist" tote-bag phase dropped her oat milk.

It's official. The FAA signed off, the signs are going up, and as of July 9, PBI is now President Donald J. Trump International Airport — the first airport in American history named after a sitting president. Trump's own 757 made the ceremonial first landing, with Eric Trump, Don Jr., and Rep. Byron Donalds aboard.

Eric wasn't leaving that honor to chance, either.

"There was no way I was letting UPS be the first plane to land," he said. "We had to be the last plane to take off out of PBI and the first plane to land at President Donald J. Trump International Airport."

The man boxed out a cargo jet for bragging rights. Respect.

He also noted, "I will forever be proud to see the initials 'DJT' on my boarding pass."

Now, you might think an airport sign is just an airport sign. You would be wrong. Because thanks to Florida's public records law, we now have documentary evidence of the meltdown — actual complaints sent to the airport since March, when Governor DeSantis signed the bill the

Legislature passed 81-30 in the House and 25-11 in the Senate.

NOTUS pulled the records. They are art.

One commenter vowed: "I will never fly in or out of this pathetic, ass-kissing airport again once you change the name to honor the most corrupt, incompetent, disastrous moron to ever hold the office."

Never again! The airport will simply have to console itself with the several million other people who live in South Florida. Another declared they would "never again utilize PBI for any travel plans now that it is named for the orange headed clown."

A third promised to make it their "mission in life" — their mission in life — "to never, ever, EVER spend a penny at your airport." Imagine telling your grandkids about your life's work.

But my personal favorite is the strategic genius who wrote: "I'll drive an hour to Fort Lauderdale or two hours to Orlando to avoid traveling through anything with that vial [sic] thing's name on it."

That's the plan, folks. That's the resistance. Two hours on the Florida Turnpike, in July, with the AC screaming, to avoid reading a word on a sign. Trump lives rent-free in this person's head and now charges a fuel surcharge.

One commenter went with the elegant simplicity of "Should be Palm Bitch," which — credit where due — is at least a decent pun delivered mid-aneurysm.

And yes, the officials got in on it too. Rep. Lois Frankel, the Democrat who represents the area, put out a statement explaining that airports are traditionally named for presidents "once they leave office" and called the whole thing "a clear overreach by the State Legislature."

Interesting principle. Someone should tell Little Rock, which renamed its airport for Bill AND Hillary Clinton in 2012 — while Hillary was the sitting Secretary of State. Strangely, no statements of concern survive from that era. The airport itself, forced to respond to all this, offered the most bureaucratically perfect sentence ever composed: the name change "may be received in different ways."

May be. In different ways. Yes.

Here's the thing. The people of Florida, through their elected legislature, named a building. That's it. That's the whole event. Planes still land. Luggage still gets lost. The Cinnabon still smells the same.

But for a certain kind of Palm Beach liberal, those three letters — DJT — on a boarding pass are apparently an act of violence. So they'll gas up the Subaru, drive past a perfectly good airport, and sit in Fort Lauderdale traffic to prove... something.

Meanwhile, Eric Trump is framing his boarding pass.

Enjoy the drive, folks. First exit for Orlando is about two hours up the road.