Texas Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico has discovered a brand-new word for "women," and he's so proud of it that he uses it in churches. The word is "neighbors with a uterus." We are not making this up.

Let that marinate. The party that spent the last decade screaming that it alone can protect women has produced a man who physically cannot get the word out of his mouth.

Here's the part that elevates this from "cringe" to "framed masterpiece." In one 2024 clip, Talarico starts to say "women" — you can watch his brain load the word — and then he catches himself. He hits the brakes. And he swaps in "neighbors with a uterus" like a guy who just remembered the safe word at a struggle session.

That's the whole thing right there. He knows the word. He started saying the word. And then some little progressive alarm bell went off in his skull and told him the word was forbidden.

It gets better. At a church — yes, a church — Talarico delivered this gem: "Every one of our neighbors with a uterus became the property of the state." Nothing says "I'm one of you, regular Texans" quite like standing at a pulpit and referring to the ladies in the pews as uterus-Americans.

Can you imagine being a woman in that congregation? You showed up for some peace and reflection, and instead a guy running for Senate just informed you that your defining feature, the thing that makes you a "neighbor" worth mentioning, is an internal organ. Now, you'd think a party that built an entire brand on "Republicans hate women" might want to, at minimum, be able to say the word "women" out loud. You'd be wrong. These are the same folks who couldn't define what a woman is when a Supreme Court nominee got asked the question. So really, "neighbors with a uterus" is them showing their work.

And let's appreciate the self-own here, because it's a beauty. Nobody trapped Talarico in a "gotcha." No conservative reporter ambushed him. He did this to himself, on video, repeatedly, in friendly rooms, while running for the United States Senate. The opposition research wrote itself. He just filmed it for them.

We've reached the stage of the modern Democratic Party where saying "women" is a microaggression but reducing women to "neighbors with a uterus" is enlightened. Welcome to clown world, Texas edition.

Here's a free tip for the campaign: when you have to perform surgery on a one-syllable word every time it comes up, the problem isn't the word. The problem is the ideology that made the word radioactive.

Texas has voted on a lot of strange things over the years. But "Send the guy who can't say 'women' to Washington to defend women" might be the toughest sell yet. Good luck with the bumper stickers.