Colorado Democrats just passed a law requiring college campuses to stockpile abortion drugs like they're prepping for the apocalypse — because apparently the one thing missing from your kid's $40,000-a-year education was a campus health center that doubles as a Planned Parenthood satellite office.

Stockpile. Not "make available." Not "provide access to." Stockpile. Like it's ammunition. Like they're bracing for a siege.

HB 26-1335, sponsored by Rep. Lorena Garcia and Sen. Katie Wallace, sailed through the Colorado Senate last week after passing the House in late April. The bill mandates that all public university campuses maintain a supply of abortion pills on-site, effective August 1, 2027. Governor Jared Polis is expected to sign it faster than a freshman signs up for a gender studies elective.

Rep. Garcia defended the bill by arguing that "your life is on campus when you are in college, and that limits the ability to access certain services." She added that "it is imperative to make sure that all of our institutions ensure that that right exists." Because if there's one thing Colorado college kids can't find within a five-mile radius of campus, it's a pharmacy. Sure.

Co-sponsor Rep. Kenny Nguyen was even more revealing about the real motivation: "I believe that reproductive rights are truly under attack in the federal government." There it is. This isn't about healthcare access. It's about using state universities as political weapons against federal pro-life policy. They said the quiet part loud.

Nathan Fisher, Associate Director of the Colorado Catholic Conference, nailed it when he warned that "HB26-1335 will force college-aged women into an isolated environment with one perceived option: abortion." He also pointed out that the bill's religious exemption "does not protect the First Amendment rights of speech and expression" — meaning faith-based campus organizations are effectively muzzled.

Lydia Davis of Students for Life of America called the legislation "anti-woman" and pointed to the actual medical data these legislators conveniently ignore: nearly 11% of women experience sepsis, infection, or hemorrhaging within 45 days of taking these drugs. Davis noted that "Chemical Abortion Pills are the leading killer of American children, with 1,761 babies killed every single day."

But sure, let's stockpile them next to the dining hall.

Here's the kicker — this isn't even the only radical bill Colorado Democrats pushed through. They also passed HB 26-1141 expanding discrimination definitions. Because when you're on a roll dismantling every guardrail in sight, why stop at one bill?

They can't fix the student debt crisis. They can't make tuition affordable. They can't keep fentanyl off campus. But by God, they can make sure every dormitory is within walking distance of an abortion pill dispensary. Peak progressive priority disorder, brought to you by the party that swears they're "pro-science" — while ignoring the 11% complication rate they're about to inflict on 18-year-olds, per The College Fix.

Priorities.