Thursday, December 1, 2022
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Crack GOP Aces Settle on Surefire Way to Lose the Midterm Elections

You really have to hand it to the GOP’s leadership. Without Donald Trump around to steer the ship, these guys are just as inept and stupid as they were back in the days when Trent Lott was Senate Majority Leader and gave us just what we wanted: Obamacare! Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have managed to drag their political party’s favorability rating down to slightly lower than a gall bladder infection. We should be headed toward historic GOP gains in the House and Senate this November. And yet the GOP leadership has looked around and settled on a strategy that is guaranteed to lose.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) has looked around the country and decided just what Republican voters really want: Climate justice!

What is it with these guys?

 

It’s often been said that Democrats are evil, but Republicans are just plain stupid. Republicans have proven this over and over again for decades. Instead of winning perfectly winnable elections, the party has instead tried strategies known as “nominating Mitt Romney.” When Barack Obama’s socialist takeover of the medical system was first announced in 2009, Republican leaders huffed and puffed as they trotted out their own socialist takeover of the medical system… but for $10 million cheaper!

And here we go again. Proving that he’s got his finger right on the pulse of what his base wants, McCarthy appointed an “energy, climate and conservation task force” in the GOP a year ago. Now that this panel of squishy Republicans who voted to impeach Trump has come up with its list of recommendations, McCarthy is ready to roll them out. He’s about to announce a six-part strategy to give us more of the Green New Deal… but at a slightly slower pace than the Democrats.

Congressman Garrett Graves (R-LA) was one of the people selected by McCarthy to explore all of the climate justice and other fake policies that the American people don’t want. Graves had this to say about the recommendations:

“We are creating a clear coherent energy strategy that returns the U.S. to an emissions reduction trajectory as opposed to what we are seeing under the Biden administration, which is failing every test, whether it be affordability, emissions or security.”

Oh, goodie! An… emissions… reduction trajectory. You guys really hit the nail on the head there!

Common sense, right? Who wouldn’t look around at the economy and the record high gas prices right now and think, “We need to get our emissions down, which can only be accomplished by driving gas and energy prices higher!”

We’re already on the verge of energy shortages and blackouts this summer because Biden has reduced coal and natural gas output too much. Why not make that problem much, much worse by implementing more solar panels and windmills that don’t work? Believe it or not, McCarthy’s global warming task force has decided that’s exactly what you and your family want.

This isn’t just some pie-in-the-sky plan to reduce emissions either, Republican voters! McCarthy is promising that if we elect Republicans to the majority in the House this November, they’re going to introduce these climate justice policies as real legislation. Take that, Green Party!

One of the pillars of McCarthy’s climate justice plan is actually titled, “Build Resilient Communities.” If that sounds familiar, that’s because it’s the exact sort of language used in the United Nations’ sinister Agenda 21 plan. And the Republican Party leadership is now fully on board with it.

America is a mess right now and we all know what would immediately help us out of it. Drill, baby, drill! Just look at any and every policy and ask, What would Donald Trump do in this situation? Then, do that! You couldn’t go wrong with that plan. But that’s not what the Stupid Party is capable of doing, apparently.

Kevin McCarthy’s climate justice strategy is practically indistinguishable from Vice President Al Gore’s plans back in the 1990s. And Gore was one of the only nutjobs in the country running around blathering about the weather back in those days.

If you wanted to come up with a surefire way for Republicans to stand a decent chance of losing the midterm elections, this is it. The 2022 midterms are entirely winnable if the GOP would just do what Trump would do. The only thing that could be stupider than McCarthy’s climate justice plan would be if Republicans in the Senate decide to team up with Joe Biden on gun control legislation.

Oh… wait…


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