A Republican presidential primary doesn’t really get under way until the liberal media start declaring all GOP candidates to be Worse Than Hitler™. Well, ladies and gentlemen… that time has arrived!

The first Vanity Fair article of the 2024 presidential primary race has dropped, and it’s a doozy. Guess whose presidency would be just as spooky and scary and icky as a Donald Trump presidency? Yep! Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has been crowned as the new Hitler in the race. Congratulations, governor!

For those who are new to reading about presidential politics, every Republican candidate is going to be declared Literally Hitler for the next year. It happens every time there is a primary. It’s sort of like Andy Warhol’s remark that “Everybody is famous for 15 minutes.” In a presidential primary, every Republican gets to be Hitler for 15 minutes.

And it doesn’t matter how nice of a Republican you are, or how soft your underbelly is, or how unwilling to stand up against the left and fight you are. If you are a Republican, the hot sidewalk garbage that we like to call “the media” is going to call you Hitler at some point.

Here’s the Vanity Fair headline about Gov. DeSantis that dropped this week:

“A Comprehensive Guide to Why a Ron DeSantis Presidency Would be Just as Terrifying as a Trump One.”

So, here we go again. If you don’t recognize the pattern yet, we had some great examples of this during the 2016 Republican primary. Here’s a selection of headlines from that race.

Rolling Stone: “Moderate John Kasich is actually terrifying. Kasich may not be the racist egomaniac Trump is, but he’d take America backward in a thousand ways.”

So… John Kasich and Ron DeSantis are about as polar opposite as you can get when it comes to Republicans. Yet they are both “terrifying” in the eyes of the media. Do you know who else was terrifying? That’s right. Hitler.

The Washington Post: “Ted Cruz is more dangerous than Donald Trump.”

Guess who else is dangerous!

Salon: “Carly Fiorina is more dangerous than Donald Trump: Her brazen demagoguery puts his to shame.”

She’s more dangerous than Trump AND a brazen demagogue! Hey, do you know who else was a brazen demagogue? Yep. Big H.

The Cut: “Ben Carson is worse for women than Trump.”

Wow. Ben Carson is literally one of the nicest men you could ever meet. But he’s not just worse than Donald Trump in the eyes of the media. He’s worse FOR WOMEN. Just like Hitler!

The Daily Dot: “Forget Donald Trump – Mike Huckabee is the biggest troll in the 2016 race.”

Any ideas about any other historical figures who might have been a big troll? I’ve got one idea!

Salon (again): “Marco Rubio should scare you: Why his nutty views are no less dangerous than Trump’s.”

Scary. Terrifying. Dangerous. Nutty. Troll. Bad for women. Brazen demagogue. These are all terms that you will never see the Enemy of the People media use to refer to Democrats in a presidential primary, or any other race for that matter. But every GOP candidate is somehow Literally Hitler.

Even Mitt Romney, the squishiest, most spineless type of jellyfish on planet earth, ran for president in 2012, he was declared to be worse than Hitler. After all, he gave a woman cancer and killed her. And he once carried the family dog in a crate on top of the car. Just like Hitler!

And this has been going on for a long while. Here’s a headline from Fact magazine from 1964:

“1,189 PSYCHIATRISTS SAY BARRY GOLDWATER IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNFIT TO BE PRESIDENT!”

(“51 intelligence officers say the laptop has all the hallmarks of Russian disinformation!”)

Among the words and terms used to describe Barry Goldwater, the 1,189 psychiatrists called him emotionally unstable, immature, volatile, unpredictable, hostile, mentally unbalanced, a menace to society, paranoid, trying to escape his mother’s domination, prone to aggressive behavior to try to prove his manliness, frightened, weak, threatened by virile men, a dangerous lunatic, a mass murderer at heart, amoral, immoral and suicidal.

And here’s the quote from one psychiatrist that really sealed the deal and set the template for all future Republican candidates:

“I find myself increasingly thinking of the early 1930s and the rise of another intemperate, impulsive, counterfeit figure of a masculine man, namely, Adolf Hitler.”

Goldwater was Jewish, of course, but he was also the first Literally Hitler GOP presidential candidate. They’ve never stopped this tactic since then. They also don’t seem to realize that when everyone is Hitler, then no one is Hitler.

Anyway, Ron DeSantis is officially just as Hitler-ish as Donald Trump, despite not even being in the race. The primaries are off to a great start!