Well, well, well. Ghislaine Maxwell is back in the headlines, and this time, she’s not just naming names. She’s dropping royal bombshells from behind bars. In a prison interview that reads more like a tabloid fever dream than a Department of Justice transcript, Maxwell hinted that her late partner-in-depravity, Jeffrey Epstein, was once set up on a date with none other than Princess Diana. Yes, you read that right. According to Maxwell, the People’s Princess may have once been in the crosshairs of the world’s most prolific billionaire creep.

Now let’s pause here for a moment and appreciate the irony. Ghislaine Maxwell, convicted sex trafficker and socialite-turned-cellmate, is trying to clean up her image by throwing a royal into the Epstein orbit. It’s like trying to wash a pig in perfume and saying it’s now a debutante.

The story goes like this: Maxwell claims that Epstein was connected to “fancy” folks in London and that Rosa Monckton, a close friend of Princess Diana, may have arranged some kind of meeting between the two. “I believe it was organized by Rosa,” Maxwell said in the transcript, but she quickly backpedaled with a classic PR move: “I don’t want to speak bad of Diana.” In other words, “I’m going to casually imply something outrageous and then pretend I’m being respectful.” Classy.

Now, before you rush to update the Wikipedia page for the British Monarchy, let’s use our God-given common sense. Diana died in 1997. Maxwell seems to be referencing events from the early 2000s. Either she’s confused, or this whole story is another desperate Hail Mary to get herself out of jail and into a beachfront villa. Spoiler alert: It’s the latter.

This entire episode is unfolding as Maxwell seeks clemency from President Trump. And guess what? The President isn’t buying it. Trump told reporters he’s all for transparency, saying he instructed DOJ attorney Pam Bondi to release *everything* they have on Epstein. “I couldn’t care less,” he added. Translation: Don’t expect a pardon, sweetheart. You’re not walking out of prison on the back of a royal rumor.

Meanwhile, Democrats are tripping over themselves to discredit Maxwell’s claims, which is rich, considering they spent years pretending Epstein was just some eccentric hedge fund guy who threw weird parties. House Democrat Robert Garcia rushed to Twitter to call Maxwell a liar, saying her words are “insulting to the girls and young women she victimized.” Well, no kidding, Congressman. Where was that righteous fury when Epstein was rubbing elbows with Bill Clinton on the Lolita Express? Funny how selective their outrage can be when the donor list gets uncomfortable.

And let’s not forget the DOJ’s role in this circus. After years of public demand for the infamous Epstein client list, the DOJ finally responds… by saying there is no client list. Really? They expect us to believe that Epstein, a man whose entire operation revolved around powerful men and underage victims, didn’t keep a Rolodex? Either the DOJ is lying, incompetent, or both. Given their recent track record, it’s probably a blend of option A and B with a dash of cover-up.

At the end of the day, Ghislaine Maxwell’s royal revelations are less about truth and more about distraction. She’s trying to muddy the waters, throw out some scandalous bait, and hope someone bites. But the American people aren’t stupid. We know what she is. We know what Epstein was. And we know exactly who spent years turning a blind eye while they operated in plain sight.

So let’s keep the spotlight shining and the pressure on. Because if there’s one thing the swamp fears more than anything, it’s sunlight. And Maxwell’s tall tales? They just might be the thread that unravels the whole rotten fabric.