CocaineGate has consumed the nation! The scandal of “someone” leaving a baggie of nose powder in “a room” somewhere in the White House keeps growing funnier by the hour! Some reporters are even starting to do their jobs and ask real questions about this.

For example, the White House has now been asked multiple times whether the cocaine belonged to President Joe Biden. Dementia patients do have a tendency to set stuff down and forget where they left it, so this is a logical question.

Let’s explore the possibility that this was Joe Biden’s cocaine and check in to see the latest hilarious excuses from the White House.

On Thursday, a reporter on Air Force One specifically asked deputy White House Press Secretary Andrew Bates about the booger sugar:

“Are you willing to say that that’s not the case? That it [cocaine] doesn’t belong to them?”

Bates responded, “I don’t have a response to that because we have to be careful about the Hatch Act.”

Well, there’s an answer that doesn’t make any sense at all. The Hatch Act is a law that prohibits Executive branch staffers from participating in certain campaign activities, since they are government employees.

What in the world does the Hatch Act have to do with someone illegally transporting cocaine into the White House, in violation of both White House rules and federal law? Absolutely nothing, that’s what.

As for whether the cocaine was Joe Biden’s, I’m of the opinion that it was not.

I accurately predicted back during the 2020 election that they were pumping Joe Biden full of barbiturates and amphetamines before every media appearance and debate. The scientific and medical literature indicates that you can make a dementia patient lucid for short periods of time by juicing them up like this. Years later, Tucker Carlson confirmed that I was right. Carlson had talked to someone who was in the room and witnessed it as they were intravenously injecting Joe Biden before a media appearance.

Naturally, this method has diminishing returns over time. It turns the patient into a junkie, and the effectiveness wears off the more you juice them. Joe Biden was able to appear lucid for as long as an hour back in 2020, and he could even stand up the whole time for the debates. Now he can’t. That’s why they’ve canceled all the Democrat primary debates—he can only stay partly lucid for about 30 to 35 minutes these days. Sometimes it’s even less than that.

Joe Biden’s eyes always appear dead and black during media appearances and speeches these days. He looks like a ghost in a horror movie. A really confused ghost. The reason for this is because he’s so strung out on barbiturates and amphetamines.

Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre was equally evasive when asked whether the Biden regime would support prosecuting the unknown cocaine smuggler.

Her response was, “I’m just not gonna get into hypotheticals from here. Let the Secret Service do their job. It’s under their purview. We are confident that they will get to the bottom of it. I’m just not going to get ahead of this at this time.”

These people are so childishly transparent. But this is yet another massive scandal for the Biden regime, so they can’t just come out and sheepishly admit, “It was Hunter. We all know it was him.”

So now they’re going to put the country through this whole lengthy ordeal by pretending to have an investigation. The Secret Service probably knew that it was Hunter’s cocaine within approximately 11 seconds. The White House has more security cameras in it than the Pentagon. It’s the most heavily video-taped location on the planet. The investigation is now going to take “days or weeks” to try to figure it all out, supposedly.

Meanwhile, the location where the cocaine was found has just changed again, as you’ll see in the video below. Former Secret Service agent Dan Bongino has already put this thing to rest. The only people allowed to bypass security checkpoints to smuggle something into the White House are members of the First Family. Nobody else gets in or out—period.

Here’s an NBC News clip explaining how the cocaine was actually found in a different part of the West Wing now.

P.S. It’s Hunter’s cocaine.