Welcome to LegoGate, the latest scandal that will surely be the undoing of Literally Hitler this time, according to the media. It’s curtain’s for Trump! The beginning of the end! The walls are closing in! Two scoops of ice cream! Just when you thought it could never be possible for the media to stoop any lower, they exceed every expectation. Following Ivanka Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention, multiple media outlets have launched an investigation into her 6-year-old son Jacob’s Legos. Probably the next Watergate.
You know that the RNC must have been a smashing success when this is the best distraction that the media can come up with. During her speech, Ivanka told a story about her son Jacob. When the family first moved to DC, then-3-year-old Jacob loved it. He built his grandpa – the new President of the United States – a replica White House out of Legos.
The photo of smiling Jacob on his grandpa’s lap in the Oval Office, when he gave the replica White House to him, is simply adorable. Trump keeps the gift from his grandson displayed behind his chair, on the table that sits directly behind the president’s desk. You can verify this for yourself on Getty Images, the photography pool service that everyone in the media has access to, if you feel like wasting your time to try to verify the truthfulness of this story.
Professional journalists who are actually paid to look stuff up to verify the truthfulness of stories didn’t bother to check Getty Images. Instead, they all thought to themselves in unison, “Wait a minute! I’ve never noticed a replica Lego White House in the Oval Office. Eureka! Get Adam Schiff on speed-dial! I’ve got a new impeachment scandal!”
Pssssst! The replica Lego White House is positioned directly behind the president’s chair. That’s why you never noticed it, media experts.
The White House editor for Bloomberg News, a genius named Alex Wayne, tweeted: “Our reporters are in the Oval Office nearly every day. None of them have ever seen the Lego White House.”
So… Bloomberg News had a staff meeting and asked everyone if they had seen the Lego White House? Just so we’re clear on this, you asked all of your White House reporters if they had seen the Lego White House? This was a real conversation that happened at Bloomberg News? With a hurricane in Louisiana, massive wildfires in California, and the town of Kenosha, Wisconsin on fire, you held a staff meeting about a toddler’s Legos?
Over at Business Insider, they didn’t want to get left behind in the media frenzy that is now LegoGate. They sent not one, but TWO full-time, adult, professional journalists to run down this hot scoop.
Headlines from some mainstream media expert journalists on this breaking story:
Business Insider: Ivanka Trump’s son did seem to make a Lego White House, but it’s not clear where it is now.
The Guardian: Was Ivanka Trump telling the truth in White House Lego story?
Vanity Fair: Trump family lore: Legos, and lying about them.
Raw Story: BUSTED: Ivanka Trump’s story about her son’s White House LEGO model probably isn’t true – here’s why.
(We’re using “probably” in headlines now?)
After what must have been an incredibly busy day for reporter Jacob Shamsian at Business Insider, he tweeted his findings:
“Recent photos show there’s no Lego White House replica on the Oval Office mantelpiece.”
Psssst! Hey, expert journalist! It’s on the table behind the president’s desk! It’s not on the mantelpiece!
Althea Bernstein, a “journalist” at ProPublica and formerly The Atlantic, let her readers know that she had demanded information on LegoGate from the White House. She tweeted:
“Sent in a query this a.m: Did 3-year old Joseph in fact build a lego model of the White House of his own initiative? Did he have assistance?”
Pulitzer alert! America is on the edge of its seat waiting for the response!
Democrats are always quick to remind us that the children of politicians are off-limits when it comes to political attacks on Democrats. This human child shield “rule” applies whether the child of the politician is a teenaged Chelsea Clinton, or a 40-something crack-smoking, stripper-impregnating, Burisma gas expert. “Stop attacking my child!”
But when the media thinks it’s got a hot scoop about the toddler grandson of a Republican, nothing is off limits. TWO SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM!