Senators Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) and Susan Collins (R-ME) did the right thing when it mattered most. That’s character. Sure, they disagree with Donald Trump on some policies (not all) and they’re worried that their woman cards will be taken away if they actually praise him and they think he’s sort of icky. But when it came time to vote in the wretched impeachment farce, both Murkowski and Collins voted to acquit Donald Trump – even if they had to pretend to hold their noses when they did it.

But not Pierre Delecto! A.k.a. Mitt Romney.

In a childishly transparent fit, Mitt Romney decided to become the public personification of the wishy-washy GOP Inc.’s near-supernatural ability to pretend that they’re sitting on the fence while actually just losing. Romney voted to convict President Trump on the fake “abuse of power” Article of Impeachment, but to acquit him on the fake “obstruction of Congress” Article.

This is worse than John Kerry being “for the Iraq War before he was against it.” Now Romney probably thinks he can walk around telling people he voted to acquit Trump… OR, he voted to convict Trump. (He’ll just check to see which audience he’s talking to first.)

It seems like it was only a few days ago when Romney was saying that he absolutely had to hear from more witnesses to make up his mind on Trump. If only he could hear from John Bolton! But then when it really mattered – when it came time to vote – Romney suddenly made up his mind that Trump was guilty on one count, despite not getting to hear from more witnesses.

The vote to convict Trump was really about Pierre Delecto covering Pierre Delecto’s own rear end. If the Department of Justice or anyone else ever peels back the onion of Ukraine gas company Burisma and corrupt US officials, they’re going to find Romney’s grubby fingerprints in that whole mess. Here’s the proof.

Allow us to introduce you to a gentleman named Joseph Cofer Black. He’s a Deep State spook. Black first joined the CIA back in 1974 and spent his entire career as a spook. He was the Director of the National Counterterrorism Center from 1999 to 2002 – you know, when our vaunted intelligence agencies missed the 9/11 attacks.

Black became Mitt Romney’s National Security Advisor when Romney was running the weakest presidential campaign in modern history against Obama. And to round out the resume of one of Mitt Romney’s closest campaign advisors, Joseph Cofer Black joined the board of Burisma in 2017, taking a seat right next to Hunter Biden.

Yeah. And as I mentioned in an article earlier this year, Chelsea Clinton’s husband sits on the board of Ann Romney’s hospital. But whatever. All these $50,000 a month no-show board positions that you and your kids could never dream of getting are super non-controversial.

So, if a real investigation of Burisma gets started now that Trump is free to pursue his vengeance against all the Russian collusion co-conspirators, Romney will claim that Trump is seeking “payback” for his vote to impeach.

I do feel sort of bad for Utah Republicans. You guys are good folks. We tried to warn you about Romney, but you let identity politics get in the way of your better judgment on that one. Now you’re paying the price for that vote. But… there’s a way to get rid of Pierre Delecto.

Listen up, Utah, because the rest of this message is for you. There’s an effort under way to recall Senator Mitt Romney. This is a way better option than just kicking him out of the Republican Party as some have suggested. (What good would that do anyway? Then the Democrats would just have one more Senate seat.)

The voters of Utah can legally recall a sitting US Senator if they’re too embarrassed by him. All you have to do as a Utah voter is sign a petition to recall Mitt Romney. You’ll need 25% of registered Utah voters to sign the petition, but then you’ll get to hold a special election and if you win that vote, Mitt Romney gets recalled and you can have a do-over to put someone else in office.

Keep this in mind because it’s really important, Utah voters: You must sign the physical petition that is already circulating in Utah. Signing an online petition does nothing and is not valid in Utah, so don’t do that. Find the people circulating the physical petitions and put your John Hancock on them.

And when you’ve successfully recalled Pierre Delecto, Utah… we’re really going to have to sit down and have a chat about Senator Smedlington von Boughten Paid-Fer ByGoogle.